You will need:

• 200g fresh cranberries
• 2 clementines
• 6Ts Port or red wine if you don’t have
• 100g caster or light muscovado sugar
• 1/2tsp ground cloves
• 1/2tsp cinamon
• pinch of nutmeg

Add the cranberries, port, sugar and juice of one clementine to a small pan and boil on medium for 10 minutes, stirring often.  The cranberries should pop, then the mixture will start to thicken.  Add the spices and continue to cook until the desired consistancy - I like mine quite thick.  Peel and segment the second clementine, taking off the membrane if you can be bothered, then add to the mixture about 3 minutes before you think it will be done, so there are still chunks of clementine.  

Transfer into a jar and serve with your Christmas dinner :)

Ok I know this isn’t really much like actual paté, but come on - thats a good thing!  This stuff works great as an alternative when everyone you know has moved on to cheese and crackers on Christmas day, and you’re all out of whatever crappy fake cheese you have convinced yourself you can bear.  Also, its super easy to make, cheap and tasty.

1. Drain and boil one can of chickpeas for 5 minutes on high, until al denté.  Chuck in your food processor and pulse a few times to get them chopped up, but still chunky.  
2. Slice half a really small onion or a shallot, and fry in some olive oil with your desired amount of garlic - I used one clove, but that may be too much for some people because you could really taste it.  Cook until glassy, then add to the blender.
3. Add 1Ts tomato paste,  and splash of soya sauce and lemon juice, then any herbs and spices you desire.  I used a shake of paprika, ground coriander, and italian herbs mix.  I also spooned in half a tsp marmite, for some extra flavour.
4. Pulse until combined, but not completely smooth - you may have to scrape dow the sides a few times, then taste and adjust the flavours, season with salt and pepper and transfer into a container.  

Enjoy on crackers, as a sandwich filler, or just chucked on a salad :)  

I’ve been wanting to make this for aaaaaages, and though its fiddly, its worth it!  This is my basic vegan sponge recipe, minus the baking powder - you don’t want it to rise too much.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups self raising flour
1 cup caster sugar
1/3 cup oil
1 cup soya milk
1tsp apple cider vinegar
1tsp vanilla essence

margarine for greasing
red and yellow natural food colouring 
seedless raspberry jam 
1/2 block shop bought marzipan

You will also need baking parchment paper and a 20-25cm square baking tin

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4.
2. Mix the milk and vinegar in a mug and leave to one side.  Sift the dry ingredients into a mixing bowl, then add the oil, vanilla and milk, mixing thoroughly.
3. Split the mixture evenly, then the colour, a few drops at a time to each, until brightly coloured.  
4. Grease the tin with margarine, then cut a rectangle of paper, the width of one of the sides, but a little longer in length.  Make 3 folds across it to create a divide in the middle, to keep the two different mixtures separate.
5. Pour the batter into each side, then bake for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
6. Allow to cool thoroughly, and while you are waiting, roll out the marzipan, using icing sugar to stop it sticking to the worksurface. Make sure it is 3 or 4mm thick.  if you roll it too thin, it will go soggy with the jam.
7. Cut the cakes into long square ended cuboids, but don’t worry too much about the ends - you can neaten them up later. Stick together with a little raspberry jam, then the outside, so that the marzipan will stay on.  Cut out a rectangle of marzipan that is the length of the sponge, but longer in the other direction.  Roll the sponges on it, trying to keep it neat, and cut to make a seam on a bottom corner.
8. Neaten up the ends with a bread knife and dust with icing sugar.

EAT.

This is really the sort of cake you could make for a birthday or celebration, but I have nothing to celebrate, so I guess I am celebrating vegan cake! 

Ingredients:
(makes one 12inch cake - double the recipe up for a cake like mine) 

- 1 1/4 cups self raising flour
- 1/3 cocoa powder 
- 1/2 cup caster sugar
- 1/2 cup muscovado sugar 
- 1/3 cup sunflower (or other mild flavoured) oil
- 1 cups soya milk
- 1tsp apple cider vinegar
- 1tsp vanilla extract
- 1-2tsp ground coffee (or replace half a cup of milk with espresso)

- 100g walnut pieces
- see below for icing ingredients 

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 4 or 350 degrees F 
2. Grease a 12inch cake tin (preferably loose bottomed or springform) with a little oil
3. Mix the soya milk with vinegar, mix and leave to one side to curdle for 5 minutes (sounds gross but don’t worry!)
4. Sift the flour, sugars, cocoa powder and baking powder into a large mixing bowl. Add the coffee, oil, vanilla and milk and mix thoroughly.
5. Pour into the cake tin and bake in the middle of the oven until a toothpick comes out clean (30-40 minutes depending on how good your oven is).
6. Remove from the tin carefully, and allow to cool on a wire rack.
7. Repeat if you are making a sandwich cake like mine.

For the Icing:
I used two different consistencies of icing, buttercream style for the outer side and a ganache for the top/centre.  The first should be quite solid and spreadable, and the second should be more gloopy. 

Blend these ingredients in a food processor, slowly adding the oil last:
- 3 cups icing sugar
- 1/2 soy milk
- 200g dark chocolate
- 1 cup coconut oil (warmed to liquid)

Scoop out just over half of the mixture into a tupperware box or small bowl, then stir in 1tsp instant coffee.  Then go back to the blender, add 1/4 soy milk and 1/4 cup coconut oil, then continue blending until it smooth.  Transfer out of the blender, then refrigerate icings for half an hour.

To construct the cake:
Ensure both of the cakes have completely cooled, then place the one with the flattest top on a completely level plate.  Spoon on about a third of the ganache, and spread with the back of the spoon, don’t put on too much because it will spread out by itself.  If it seems too runny, and like it will squeeze out when you place the other cake on top, refrigerate the cake for half an hour or so to partially set the icing.

Place the second sponge on top, then apply some more ganache to the top of the cake - don’t feel lie you have t use all of it if there is too much.  Use the side f your finger to neaten it up.

Now, apply the buttercream to the outside, trying not to let the cake to slide around.  Use a palette knife or rubber spatula to apply it evenly, then stick on the walnuts around the outside - break up any large pieces before sticking.

Finally we have a reason to use our cake stand!  I suggest you allow it to sit for an hour before serving, so that the icing can slightly set.

Enjoy!