I haven’t posted in a year and the followers keep coming. Sorry guys, too busy making food and eating it. Taking photos of your food is so 2010…

baisus asked: Hello~~ I think your recipes are fantastic and your blog is my favorite when I'm looking for meals to make and I'd REALLY appreciate you coming back and posting more. Please?? :<

I know i really should, but I never have time/can be arsed to take photos of my food all the time.  Iuno, maybe :) But thank you!

green-and--dying-deactivated201 asked: I'm shortly starting uni and I was wondering if you could recommend a list of essential groceries a skint, vegan student should have? x

Hmmmmmmm.  This should be an easy question but I’m struggling.  I always have chickpeas, baked beans, kidney beans, chopped tomatoes, red and green lentils, rice and pasta in the cupboard.  I usually buy tofu a couple of times a week, but I guess the main thing is just get loads of veg.  If you can’t be bothered to cook, sainsburies has a good selection of cheap frozen vegan stuff like soya mince and meetballs, beanburgers etc.  Iunooooooo, if the worse comes to worst, live off cocopops, peanut butter and beans on toast x

dearcornelia-deactivated2012072 asked: I just made your cake (closetvegan tumblr com/post/11578213744/chocolate-coffee-and-walnut-cake), and it is delicious!! Rich, and a good ratio of chocolate to coffee. I served it to non-vegan friends, and they loved it and never guessed it was animal-product-free. When I told them, they were amazed. :)

Yaaaay :)  Glad you enjoyed it!

Boozy Spiced Cranberry Sauce

You will need:

  • 200g fresh cranberries
  • 2 clementines
  • 6Ts Port or red wine if you don’t have
  • 100g caster or light muscovado sugar
  • 1/2tsp ground cloves
  • 1/2tsp cinamon
  • pinch of nutmeg

Add the cranberries, port, sugar and juice of one clementine to a small pan and boil on medium for 10 minutes, stirring often.  The cranberries should pop, then the mixture will start to thicken.  Add the spices and continue to cook until the desired consistancy - I like mine quite thick.  Peel and segment the second clementine, taking off the membrane if you can be bothered, then add to the mixture about 3 minutes before you think it will be done, so there are still chunks of clementine.  

Transfer into a jar and serve with your Christmas dinner :)

Fruity Frosted Carrot Cake

I could not be bothered to make a proper Christmas cake, who can really be arsed to feed the cake every week for several months? Just make a kick ass carrot cake instead.
  • 225g Self Raising Flour
  • 150g sugar (I used half and half caster and light brown muscovado)
  • 50g walnuts plus more for topping
  • 50g raisins
  • 100g grated carrot
  • 2 ripe bananas, mashed
  • 200ml Oil
  • 2 1/2tsp baking powder
  • 1/4tsp baking soda 
  • 50ml soya milk
  • 60g soya yogurt
  • 1Ts cornflour
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon and ginger
  • big pinch of nutmeg


  1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4.  Next, grease a 12 inch cake tin with oil. If you don’t have one with a pop out bottom, its wise to line with baking paper - if you use a single sheet, you can use the edges to pull it safely out of the tin. 
  2. Sift flour and baking powder together, then add all of the ingredients.  Beat together until it makes a smooth batter.
  3. Pour into cake tin and Bake for 1 hour 10 minutes on gas mk 4.  Push a toothpick to the bottom to check if it is cooked through.  Take out of the tin and leave to cool.
  4. Cream the icing sugar and marg together, then add 1tsp of either vanilla or orange essence.  If you use orange, you could also stir in some orange zest.
  5. When the cake has cooled, spoon on the icing and sprinkle with chopped walnuts and icing sugar.

Merry Christmas!

Chickpea Paté

Ok I know this isn’t really much like actual paté, but come on - thats a good thing!  This stuff works great as an alternative when everyone you know has moved on to cheese and crackers on Christmas day, and you’re all out of whatever crappy fake cheese you have convinced yourself you can bear.  Also, its super easy to make, cheap and tasty.

  1. Drain and boil one can of chickpeas for 5 minutes on high, until al denté.  Chuck in your food processor and pulse a few times to get them chopped up, but still chunky.  
  2. Slice half a really small onion or a shallot, and fry in some olive oil with your desired amount of garlic - I used one clove, but that may be too much for some people because you could really taste it.  Cook until glassy, then add to the blender.
  3. Add 1Ts tomato paste,  and splash of soya sauce and lemon juice, then any herbs and spices you desire.  I used a shake of paprika, ground coriander, and italian herbs mix.  I also spooned in half a tsp marmite, for some extra flavour.
  4. Pulse until combined, but not completely smooth - you may have to scrape dow the sides a few times, then taste and adjust the flavours, season with salt and pepper and transfer into a container.  

Enjoy on crackers, as a sandwich filler, or just chucked on a salad :)  

Piss Easy Tofu Noodle Miso Soup
Sometimes, you need to suck it up, and just deep-fry your tofu.  Fuck it, its Christmas.

  • Press tofu for as long as you can have time to - between 20 minutes and an hour.  Wrap it in a couple of kitchen towels then a teacloth, then place a chopping board and some tins on top.
  • Cut into little chunks, then rub with seasoning - a little bouillon powder, salt and pepper, then fry in quite a bit of oil on medium heat for 10 minutes, turning frequently.
  • Stir fry half a red onion and a handful of mushrooms, with some grated fresh ginger and a crushed clove of garlic (optional), on medium heat for 5 minutes.
  • Boil a portion of dried noodles as per packet instructions.
  • Place all of the ingredients in a large bowl with a cup of boiling water, a sachet of miso soup powder, some soy sauce, a splash of lemon juice, salt and pepper.